A mother's work...

So I've been trying to decide if I should go back to work. Substitute teaching in particular...it seems to be the most logical way for me to make some money while I still have one child at home.  It does, however, require finding a babysitter for the days I accept an assignment...which is easier when its just one child, but still difficult...especially  when you count the 'guilt' factor.  We 'stay-at-home-moms' have a code we live by....kids first. Right? But how do we maintain that at the cost of our own sanity or at the cost of say....groceries?  Lets face it. Most everyone these days needs a dual income. Lucky is the girl who doesn't feel the pressure or have the absolute need to at least work part time anymore.  I have been extremely lucky to have been able to stay home as long as I have, but it has not been without its sacrifices.  I definitely need to be making SOME sort of income to have any guilt free spending power, and we need me to work if we ever want to buy a house again in this century.
I have found many mothers in this same predicament. It is a tough one because we want to be there for every cute thing...every teaching moment...every question...every brilliant performance put on in our living rooms in the late morning by an aspiring 3 year old actor or actress.  Its heartbreaking to think someone else might witness that, or even ignore it...thats what we moms were made for...recognizing and enjoying those moments....and having the choice to do so..  But there is another side to each of us. The side that is just dying to get out of the isolation that comes with the 'mom' job.  We crave adult contact...we want to use our talents and contribute something to the world other than the cleaning up of cracker crumbs and smashed banana in the carpet.  We want the independence that comes with your own fiscal contributions....we want to be able to say 'sure honey, you can get that cute shirt' without having to check with the 'other half' if it will be okay or not.  And then there is the thing that is tipping the scales these days. . .we have to pay the bills and feed the kids we love so dearly.
So, recently one of my fellow stay at home moms found herself in this same predicament, and is in tears about having to go back to work.  The feeling is bitter-sweet...she gets to use her educated brain in the field she studied in college...but she has to leave her 3 year old with me.  For me it answers the question as to whether or not I will have to miss any of my youngest's 'at-home' years by going back to subbing...I am getting paid to watch an extra kid or two, and still get to see mine grow up, although I don't get to use much of my educated brain.  And, unless I am feeling particularly energetic that day, adult interaction is likely out...as well as much quiet time...but hopefully I can amp up my creativity and find ways to keep them occupied.  I am looking forward to this venture with much gratitude and a little trepidation...it will be a challenge for both moms involved.  Its funny because I'm pretty sure both husbands are quite happy with the arrangement...some of their burden just got lifted...I'm just hoping the Lord sustains the mothers' work because we might both need a little extra divine energy to get through this one.  One day, soon, this will not be a challenge, as they grow up so very fast...But for this year...the mothers' work is never done...a bit more valued, perhaps...but never done.