That is pretty much the sound I made tonight at my first ever Zumba class. I have a good friend that convinced me to go with her to do this hilarious and fun class...although I am fairly certain that I, myself, was the hilarious part, and jumping around with teenagers and a skinny, energetic, 'perfect-teeth' and 'super-nice' instructor to fast paced latin music, was the 'fun' part.
Before I go on, I have to confess something...I was a Physical Education major in college. Ours was a curriculum designed to teach teachers how to teach kids to be active and fit for life. So, I passed college with flying colors, but am failing on the 'fit for life' bit. . .allow me to illustrate why I simply give myself an F- in 'Practice What You Preach 101' class......
Ok, so...
I arrived at the gym wearing the only clean 'workout gear' I could find. (I blamed this on 'motherhood' in general and a household of 6) My outfit included a pair of capri-length addidas pants, (complete with paint stains from when I tried to paint the house in them and 'not-get-any-paint-on-my-pants'...fail), a huge T-shirt, miss-matched socks, a zip up hoodie, and a bra with half the underwire broken out. Hahahaha. That last part is actually true...hey...it was the only one I could find...and yes I do have more than 2.
So, I was okay with my appearance at first (since my husband told me I looked fine) until our teacher bounced in...AND I found out that our only other classmates consisted of the middle school girls' soccer team...and we also had to take our shoes off....however, I got a 'save' on that one because apparently it is 'cool' to have miss-matched ankle socks. The whole soccer team had on little miss-matched ankle socks just like me so I'm pretty sure I just 'fit in' like I knew what I was doing. . .
So aside from the fact that even though I am 'clear' on the sock front, I learned 5 things about myself, and how my life will go from here -post Zumba class tonight...
1. I will never eat again.
2. I need to go buy a sports bra....preferrably one that holds everything 'in' and 'up' where it all belongs.
3. I will never, ever, ever, (no matter how hard I might try), ever, look sexy when I 'swivel' my hips. . .I have become the short little fat girl in class that everyone watches and says ''Awe...honey...bless your heart for getting out there and giving it a try!''...no...really...not ANYTHING like what the teacher looked like...
4. My husband will NEVER, EVER, under even the most EXTREME circumstances, be permitted to attend or 'observe' my monday night Zumba class. Period.
5. I may need counseling for 'reverse annorexia'...I'm pretty sure that when I see myself, alone, in the comfort of my own home, I think I look better in my mirror than I actually do in real life...the mirrors ALL around the room, and trying to move like our tiny, sexy instructor helped me to see the light on my reality.....
I must admit, that despite the very STEEP learning curve (there is no instruction...you just have to try to follow and keep up), I think I really liked it. It was energetic, fun, and I think I laughed more tonight than I have in a long, long time. AND, I did keep up the whole time...which surprised even me (meaning, I actually moved the whole time and finished the workout....no way I got all the moves right.) Plus, if I end up looking like our instructor at the end (which I'm fairly certain is genetically impossible), I will be freakin' HOT....and then I won't go 'Zumba-Boomba-Boom!!!', I'll just go 'ZumBAAAaaa!'
Sounds like a lot of fun! So glad you had a great time!
ReplyDeletehahaha thanks. It was fun. I highly recommend it.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this post!! I especially loved your description of your workout clothes.
ReplyDeleteI felt a little bit like you yesterday when my spin instructor announced that we were going to do a "biathalon". Which meant spinning, then hopping off the bike and running on the treadmill then getting back on the bike... you get the idea. All yesterday proved to me is that I can't run faster than an 11 min mile and I almost died running a total of 1.8 miles. On a treadmill with no incline. Sigh.
Wow Rebecca...I don't know if I could even make it the 1.8 miles...I'd like to think I could..but then, I DO tend to overestemate myself...
ReplyDeleteI think the biathalon sounds awesome...at least you don't have to try and look sexy while doing it. lol.
I am crying!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! My niece teaches zumba and she did a class in my basement with my sisters and I...very safe. I then ventured out a couple weeks ago with a couple friends and I was wearing a pair of cut off sweats made into capris (each leg a different length) with bleach splatters from when I cleaned, also an over sized t shirt and we too had to take off our shoes...I had matching socks on though. Our class was pretty funny though it consisted of my 2 friends and I, one old lady who was wearing pajama jeans (if you don't know what they are googe it and watch the commercial), a butterfly button up the front shirt and had her coffee mug aka her water bottle. The girl in front of me was wearing her pink sports bra "covered" by a black lace shirt, addidas sweats and a lovely black thong which showed every time she bent over! There were a couple others but they were pretty normal looking. The teacher...not so hot but she could move her hips pretty impressively! I could completely relate to your WHOLE post about this!!!!! Thanks for the good laugh! I think we're trying a different class tonight. We're on the hunt for a decent class.
ReplyDeleteSee Maria...THIS is why we are friends. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, and so relating to you on the whole majored in PE and failing miserably at staying active and fit for life!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI totally have had this same experience!! Ecen though have been overweight for like 10 yrs now, I still feel like a cutie until I am looking in the mirror next to a real one!!! I love how I can see my fat roll jumping up and down as I try keeping up the moves, and how my arse has both widened AND flattened!!! Ugh!!
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