Trampolining

So for Christmas my husband got the kids a small trampoline with a cage of netting around it so the kids don't fall out and get hurt....Its rather gigantic for the back of my living room, but that's another issue. The reason I am writing about the trampoline now is that today, while I was cleaning the back room and vacuuming, I came upon the instruction manual.  I found it amusing that the trampoline had an instruction manual.  This is not a manual for how to assemble the trampoline, but rather instructions on how to use the trampoline.  They honestly had like 25 things you should consider when using your 'My First Lil Roo' trampoline.
First of all...the trampoline box clearly said that the trampoline was only for jumpers up to 100 lbs. Okay, so by default, that only includes kids up to the age of maybe 10 years old....if they are a super skinny waif of a 10 year old. My 9 year old is 85 lbs and he really cant jump hard on the thing.
Anyway, this being said, allow me to share with you the first rule on the trampoline instruction sheet.

1. Jumpers should not use the 'My First Lil Roo' trampoline if they have consumed alcohol or recreational drugs.

Really??....Really??....no really...Really?

Okay...so assuming the children who are using this trampoline can read because they just started school...they will be sure not to have a beer or smoke reefer before jumping.

I wish I had actually kept the manual instead of just throwing it away after reading the rest of the 'rules for jumping' so I could share them all with you verbatim. They were really really amusing. One of the rules said something like 'No jumping too high. A controlled low bounce is the safest way to jump on your 'My First Lil Roo trampoline.'
That one made me smile. What kid do you know that isn't going to try and touch the top of the 'enclosure'?
I know...they have to say those silly things for legal purposes to avoid being sued. But seriously.

Anyway, for your perusing enjoyment I am posting a picture of said trampoline.


Looks fun right? It is. Really. And it gives the kids something to do 'till I get a yard to send them out to play in. But, should you buy one of these for your 'Lil Roo' you should know that they all try to touch the top of the enclosure and they really do get out of control if they've had a few beers.

Oh, and if you have a cat...the cat will think it is a brand new scratching post...huge and glorious...just for them. You will find shreds of red and yellow styrofoam all over your entire house...and squirting the cat with water doesn't stop the cat from shredding the foam pole protectors...I think they should have put that warning in the rules. I bet I could sue...